BLOG AVOIDANCE SYNDROME: PORKFEST ON MY MIND

I've been avoiding my blogging duties lately. There's not much going on that I feel like writing about and I've got too much stuff to do this week what with Porkfest IV :Intravenous De Swino this Saturday. It should be a good day, Hope, Hope. I will try not to get as fucked up as I did last year where I was pretty much shot by 8:00 and passed out on my beeping computer keyboard at 2:30. That's where I remained for the night snoring with my face in the keys. I was going to rent one of those inflatable jumpy gym things but I really couldn't get passed the 250.00 for a few hours price. Too wasteful. I never had one of things when I was a kid and I had a great time at parties. My kids will live. I was also contemplating buying a bacon tuxedo but again, a hundred bucks that could better be spent on beer and food. I'm trying not to go broke throwing a stupid party. I don't mean stupid in the pejorative sense, I just mean in the big picture, wife and two children and a mortgage and a vacation coming up sense.

When not dreaming of porkfest I did spend a few moments asleep upright in my living room chair all night having a dirty, filthy dream about Katie Perry. She had an awesome rack and in my dream she was quite soft, smelled good and was very bendy. But like all of my good dreams just when It was getting to the point of me having the most fun, in walks the dream wife, by dream wife, I mean my wife in my dream, Telling me to stop boning Katie Perry and don't I dare give the dream a happy ending. Katie was cool though she said I should call her then turned into a lamp or a cat or something. Curses! Foiled again!!