PORKFEST IV: INTRAVENOUS DE SWINO WAS THE BEST PORKFEST EVER

Where to begin? What a balls out awesome time I had the other night. Great party if I do say so myself, fuck it I'll say it. It was a really good party. PORKFEST RULES! It's not easy hosting an event as important to the world as Porkfest. There's a lot of pressure on ol' Ted to make sure everything goes off without a hitch and I couldn't really do it without a lot of help from the wife who busts her ass cleaning and gives me the time to do the shit I have to do to prepare for the fiesta. Of course my brother and sisters and brother in law, the "loinmaster" and my cuz "boss hog" his wife of the pulled pork nachos and my good friends all help out. I'm glad they all bought in to the concept of Porkfest otherwise it wouldn't work so well. Everyone seems to relish their appointed pork niche which lends itself to a swinging good time had by all. They are vested in the outcome of the swine extravaganza. Like ants in a colony, everyone has a role to play. But in the end, you truly know that it's your party when it's time to clean up the huge fucking mess. Oh sweet ownership. I am the general so I slog in. Still, when all of the previous night's singing and dancing and laughing and fun is just a sweet memory poking at my hungover brain and I'm abandoned, I still feel happy and warm inside knowing that Porkfest has become the greatest holiday ever invented by two bored, drunken idiots that like to gorge on the swine. I love you Porkfest. Hopefully next year, a couple of my so-called, douche bag, friends that didn't show up, will come.

I saw this pic and started cooking on what will be in the works for next year.
Next year's big accessory will be: The PorkFez

doing the world famous duet of "Jump Around" with Boss Hog

Ringing the bell for PORKFEST IV

I love meat sweats