TED GOES LOCO

Vacation, a few beers, a month of rain, a few more beers, some hair clippers, a sister looking to shave a head and a dummy with a toy gun with a desire to look like an even bigger asshole than he already does. Viola, picture time. Had a very fun vacation fishing and swimming and drinking beers and cooking pork and walking miles late at night in flip flops after downing countless beers and shots with random Irish folks and a French barmaid. Ahh the good life. The weather could have been a little better but crap weather keeps people away from beach areas which means Ted doesn't have to deal with as many assholes. The schools let out and the weather got nice last saturday and suddenly, BOOM! out flocked the annoying Long Island fuckheads that I had gladly moved away from. There's plenty of nice Long Island folks too but the east end is like a beacon for attracting douchebags. Most of the real cocks justgo to the hamptons but Montauk is becoming more popular to the dildo set. A town that is mostly pick up trucks and old station wagons in May fills up with Escalades and Hummers come the summer. I'm a tourist too, but I'm cool, I make friends, I talk about fixing roofs, basement leaks and fishing, locals buy me drinks. That's love man. I even might have gotten my band a gig playing some drunk motherfucker's wedding. I walked into town one night after the wife and kids went to sleep and stumbled into a place called the Shagwong. After and hour or so, I was buddies with a few folks. We started singing Pogues songs from the juke box and then I mentioned that I was in a band, this one guy got all excited,told me he was looking for an Irish band to play his wedding, we talked price and exchanged information. The guy will probably never call about playing his wedding but it was still a fun night. They closed up the bar around 2:00, the french barmaid starting poring me crazy amounts of beers and shots and I flip flopped out of there at 3:30 for the long walk home. The guy mowing the lawn that morning at 8:00 did not make daddy happy.

Anyway, I caught no fish, ate some delicious, only in new york, breakfast sandwiches (two eggs sausage and cheese on a hard roll. it's basic shit but no one but new york deli's seem to know how to do this properly) I slow cooked a rack a ribs for 3 plus hours that fell off the bone like autumn leaves in a windstorm, yum, i went to the movies and saw the hangover, I went swimming in the freezing cold, rough ass surf that knocked the living crap out of me and made my shorts fall down and did lot's of beer drinking.
Good time had by all, except my sister who hates kids and cloudy weather.

I didn't take this picture but some day I'll be standing there outside Paulie's tackle. That's the good shop in town, paulie is an awesome guy, the one on mainstreet, Johnny's tackle shop, is run by douchbags.