WHAT I WANT THIS FALL

I want the Yankees to utterly destroy and Humiliate the Boston Red Sox in 4 games. I want Jonathan Papelbon struck in the temple with a blistering line drive relegating him to a drooling, apple sauce eating simpleton. I want Josh Beckett's right arm to literally tear away from his body and get smacked over the right field wall for a home run, never to be returned. I want David Ortiz to accidentally pump his veins not full of steroids but full of embalsim causing air bubbles that make his gigantic head explode in the Red Sox dugout. I want Kevin Youkilis to break a bat on a Mariano Rivera cutter, fall down and impale himself on the jagged bat handle, emptying bowels and spilling all of his blood into a teeming river of gore on Boston's home plate.
I want A light tower to collapse at Fenway electrocuting a third of the fans.
After all this is achieved I then want to take all the sexy, female, Red Sox fans that survive and make them assume the doggie position. I will then mount and ravage every single one of them from behind while their laments and sobs fill my Yankee goblet with their sweet, copious, tears of anguish and sorrow. Then I will lustfully guzzle their misery, careful not to spill a single drop of their exquisite pain. I, of course will laugh once I have swilled all of their tears and completed buggering their beautiful, woeful, asses.

That is what I want this fall.

So it has been written, so it shall be done.