THE THINGS TED DOESN'T "GET"

Back up dancers

Why do pop singers that work in the dance genre always have to have 3 or 4 or 15 dancers behind them doing the same exact thing? Madonna, Janet Jackson, Beyonce, Brittney, they all do the same exact thing. Sing a song, dance around with 5 dancers better than them aping their moves. Kinda old, kinda stupid, don't get it.

Married with children

Now I know this is show is old and not very important in the big scheme of things but I basically harangued my cousin's wife this weekend over her appreciation for it. "How can you like this idiotic shit?" I asked incredulously. "I like it because I don't have to think." Her husband comes in, I ask him the same question, "I like it cause I don't have to think." Now this confuses me because generally we all laugh at the same shows and movies and I wouldn't say any of them make my brain kick into high gear. But I let them explain how awesome a show it is because of all the non-thinking it enables. Again, I don't get the not thinking thing, but I'll trust them and take them at their word that liking this show requires a non thinking brain. I'm no genius but I think the task of not thinking to enjoy a pile of crap is not in my portfolio. I like to keep my wheels spinning and if I'm watching something that insults my limited intelligence I don't laugh, I get mad. I like stupid humor but I don't like humor that is stupid. I always thought this show, with it's telegraphed setup's, hackneyed punchlines and canned laughter could only be appreciated by sub-moronic dipshits but time and time again, people I actually like, tell me they like this pile of crap. Now either there's something wrong with me,
( there isn't) or I'm I'm too much of a snob ( sheer ludicrousness bordering on the preposterous)
or the people I like are just a lot dumber than I thought they were ( possible), or maybe, there's a third choice. Maybe it's just subjective and these people have valid reasons for enjoying it, (I hate this third option by the way) but maybe there's just something about this asshole, cock in the mouth show I just don't get .

NASCAR

Cars going really fast in a circle for a few hours while rednecks watch and get drunk. I get the premise, I get the explosions and the speed, I just don't get why anyone would give a shit.
I like car crashes as much as the next guy but as a sporting event to watch on TV or a thing to travel to go see live, I just don't get it.

Anime

Japanese animation on Japanese shows. I don't get why anyone would watch this crap. It's the most god awful, flat, choppy, cold looking shit. My kids are stupid but even they're not stupid enough to watch this shit. I don't get what the fuck a pokemon is or a bakugon or an Avatar, any of it. As soon as I see a freakishly huge round eyed cartoon character I change the channel. I've sat through a couple of shows with my kids and was as confused about whatever the hell was going on as they appeared to be. Leave it up to the crazy ass Japanese to invent a form of animation so lifeless and bizarre. This should earn them another nuking.

Men's designer jeans

This was discussed at my house over the weekend. I am the least fashionable person I know, I wear Levi's that cost 30 bucks and I think I have a pair of Eddie Bauer jeans I don't wear. That's all I really need in the jeans dept. Men shouldn't need sissified fancy jeans. Gay, don't get it.