TED'S BEEN FEELIN' MINNESOTA

Ugh, sunday was rough on Ol' Ted, monday was better but today is rough. Sunday was hangover day, my band had a gig and I might have over done it just a tad, now it wouldn't have been that bad if I could have slept late but I crashed at my friends apartment after leaving his bar somewhere around 2:30 am then he had me up at 9:00 to head back to the bar to set up for brunch by 10:00, not exactly the thing I needed after a dozen or so beers and 5 shots of Jame-o. My wife has since forbade me to drink jameson's she may be right. Yesterday i was a bit tired but otherwise fine, today i had to get a molar crowned and I feel like I got mouth raped by Mike Tyson's fist. My dentist had more shit in my mouth all at once then I though possible, his hands the hygienists big suction nozzle, her fingers, clamps, water spritzers, hoses and god knows what else. I'm not sure but i think he might have slugged me in the jaw a few times as well. It's been 3 hours and I'm still numb like Amy Winehouse. My stomach is rumbling like crazy but i can't eat anything because I'm afraid I'll bite my tongue off and I use my tongue a lot.