SOMETIMES A SHOW READS FUNNIER THAN WATCHING IT

I've been watching a lot of my favorite show, "It's Always sunny in Philadelphia" lately and thoroughly enjoying it. I was online reading a review of the show and it had a particular section of a script. The dialogue was from an episode where they find a glory hole in the bathroom stall at their bar. I laughed for about ten minutes. Now I had seen the episode and thought it was funny but sometimes reading the material for whatever reason makes the whole thing funnier so I figured I'd reprint a few gems from the show.

Dennis, Dee and Frank discover a glory hole in the bathroom at the bar:

Dee: Why would you want to have sex with someone you can't see?"

Dennis: Well, Dee, I think the real question is, why wouldn't you want to have sex with someone you can't see? It's very European. You see, Europe leads the way with sexual exploration. Quite frankly, I think it's time we caught up.

Frank: This sounds hot! I'm gonna go get some duct tape.

Dennis: Oh, now, hold on a second, Frank. Before you go sticking anything through that hole, you might want to consider that on the other side of this wall, more often than not, there's a dude.

Frank: But you can't see through the wall, so how do you know it's not a girl? You know, I could just picture a girl and then ... it's good!

Dennis: Right, well some might find that method effective. But it's a dangerous game you're playing, Frank.

Frank: Suppose the other guy is picturing a girl also!

Dee: How's he gonna do that with a dick in his mouth?

Frank: I don't know. That's his problem.

Mr. Kelly, you said that the defendant threatened that if you didn't, and I quote "Stick things up your butt, he would rape your butt until the room stinks, and then he would eat your butt and his son's butt until his stomach was... full of butt."

Dennis: Hi. I’m a recovering crackhead. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I’d like some welfare, please.

Mac: I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude.
Charlie: Oh my God, dude, relax. Dude, I forgot to put on deodorant, okay?
Mac: I have never once, never once seen you wear deodorant, Charlie, never once.
Charlie: Yeah, well, you’ve never seen me once wash my testicles either, but that doesn't mean I don’t do it every Friday.

Charlie: Do wasps make honey?
Dennis: No, wasps do not make honey.
Charlie: All right, well, I’m gonna check it out anyway; there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make, and I want that.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don’t have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There’s poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What’s in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well, that’s mayonnaise. It’s a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That’s shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I’ve been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you’ve been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.