WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE...

Recently I have started to get a lot of messages from people on Facebook. These messages are of the private sort and usually have something to do with people that both myself and the message sender are "friends" with. Usually the message starts something like this, "Hey, I just wanted to say, blah blah blah usually it opens with some sort of generally nice thing about how wonderful I am and then at the end there's a little caveat, oh, by the way, isn't Joe Schmo a fucking asshole?" These messages are generally from people I actually like and who seem to like me vs the few people that are on the list that are neither my true friend nor much of anything else to me but they asked to be friends with me and I said, "sure." Now my friends list is anything but extensive. I'm not a popular guy, I don't cultivate acquaintances or generally give off a warm and fuzzy, please friend me, vibe. I have a pretty small group of so-called friends and I still can't stand most of them. I guess I'm just a passive aggressive insincere douche. I talk smack about people behind their backs and mock almost everything they say, write, think or do. In other words, I'm a shitty friend and a jerkoff of a person, it just turns out that I have company because it seems to me that everyone else is too. What does bring me some solace about my own assholishness is that somehow through the pretty mundane and vanilla things I post on facebook a few desperate souls fed up with reading and seeing the stupidity of our fellow friends somehow knew that I would be an allie against the soulless, unoriginal, annoying, holier than thou, LOL-ing jerks that populate and broadcast themselves unimpeded throughout the friendosphere. You are not alone, I am there for you...always, like a mean high school chick. Now let's go trash our stupid, dickhead friends.