DOESN'T IT JUST STAB AT THE HEART TO KNOW THIS FUCKING RETARD WALKS AMONG US?

I forgot to write last week about this stupid idiot and her "refudiate"post on Twitter about a planned Mosque a few blocks away from ground Zero.

"Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate."

I have a few comments on this mind numbingly moronic post. Seriously, this woman is so stupid on so many levels that I find it cosmically insulting to be forced to share a planet with her.


Since when is the Fucking wilderness state all the way up in the northwest known as Alaska considered the "heartland?"

Why would "peaceful Muslim" supporters of the ground Zero mosque want to "refudiate" or repudiate or refute the building of a mosque? Why would it stab them in the heart? They didn't do anything wrong. They already support it because it's their religion and they clearly like being Muslims and having Mosques, just like Catholics like their religion and might want to build a new church even though priests have molested thousands of boys. Do Catholics have to refudiate every new building the church puts up? I don't get the logic. In fact, I say put the fucking Mosque on top of the new freedom tower. Let it rotate 360 degrees and let the mosque take the hit when the next Jihadists have a go at lower manhattan.

I don't really care that she's a brain dead piece of shit that makes up words because she's too stupid to look things up in a dictionary, I take offense at her trying to tell New Yorkers to think more like she does, like an fucktarded, ignorant, hillbilly racist. I know everything this evil cunt says and does is just a suck up to the seriously stupid Klan crowd that support her and that she couldn't locate Manhattan on a map and couldn't care less about mosques or New York. She just knows that hating Muslims and opposing a Mosque will sell to the right wing xenophobic masses.
All the people against this Mosque fail to realize that
A) there already is a Mosque closer to ground zero than this one will be and...
B) A country built upon the foundation of Freedom of religion can't start telling people where they can or can't have a church even if they scare us because they wear towels their heads and wipe their asses with their hands and fuck camels. Just kidding Muslims, I refudiate that comment, I love you guys.

Sarah palin and the rest of her dipshit idiots love the constitution... or at least the right to bare arms part. Everything else is just pussy left wing crap to them. The bill of rights is for homos. Watch this video against the building of the Mosque and notice how they call all Muslims, even the hundreds of Millions that haven't attacked anything, "They" Kind of 1930's Germany scary.

AT LAST A REASON TO LIKE MASSACHUSETTS...AND THE LITTLE IRISH GUY FROM NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

MA Men from Joey McIntyre

A silly mad men parody with Joey McIntyre from the new kids on the block called MA men, with wicked awesome Boston accents. It's wicked pissa funny.

"I'm talking about the time Joe Torre came in here to talk about his ball cancer PSA and you told him that he and Johnny Damon should suck each others cocks until they gave each other ball cancer in each others fucking esophagus's"

How can you not love a line like that?
even better, Joey McIntyre says, "I'd like to date rape that ass." I actually invented that saying, except I said, "I'd like to date rape her eyes" about a sexy vineyard employee with big, beautiful, almond shaped, brown eyes.

I'LL TAKE THE TWO SMOKING RACKS PLEASE

Is it normal for a cooking show to give you wood? With Padme Lakshmi and Gail Simmons sporting such heaving bosoms I can't watch Top Chef and not think about sex. To me Padme just ooozes sex. She is a crazy sultry, sexy, woman. I love that she's a total hottie but still loves cramming food in her face. She makes food seems dirty and erotic. I think she would actually enjoy being eaten. I'm usually not too high on new single mom's and their poppin' fresh busted out baby bodies but I would definitely make an exception for her. I would nurse her excess milk and wipe tucks pads on her apisiotomy scar then I'd make her a hamburger and take her from behind while she ate it. As for Gail Simmons from Food and Wine magazine, I don't know if she just had a baby but she was displaying a huge veiny set of mams last night. they were teetering on the top of her dress like boulders about to break loose and cause a flesh avalanche. She's not as hot as Padme but very pretty and buxom and kind of comes off like if she had a couple of stiff girly martini's she'd be pretty quick to assume the position. There was another judge on the show last night who is older and busted in the face but she too was blessed with a powerful bust. I fucking love that show, now all they have to do is get some sexy contestants who cook in bikinis and use dildos for spatulas.

I HAVE AN IDEA, WHY DOESN'T OBAMA FIRE ALL THE BLACKS IN THE ADMINISTRATION SO REPUBLICANS FEEL SAFE

For those of you not in the know, there is a right wing, racist, douchebag named Andrew Breitbart who runs a right wing, racist, douchebag site for right wing, racist, douchebags called Big Government.com. This site specializes in drumming up anger amongst the white scaredy cat republican base with false stories built upon edited video that make white assholes feel justified in their hatred of black people. He was the idiot behind the fake and overblown ACORN "scandal" from last year when a white guy dressed as a pimp went into various ACORN offices and asked questions about how to pimp out his ho's. The videos showed the black ACORN employees seemingly answering all of his questions. Now one would think this would be illegal for a community outreach organization like ACORN to hand out advice on how to commit crimes. The videos caused white outrage and were trumpeted all over FOX news and helped bring down the ACORN organization which had been a black boogey man to republicans/bigots during the 2008 election. The only problem was that the videos were all edited and total bullshit. When police investigated ACORN they found that all the videos were edited in such a way to make it look like ACORN was assisting in prostitution when they were answering generic questions with the Pimp/Ho questions edited in strategically afterward. There were no charges filed against any ACORN offices or employees but the right wing had their scalp. ACORN had it's funding cut by congress and black people weren't quite as dangerous to white republicans any more.

The same asshole that walked into ACORN supposedly to pimp out his bitches was arrested earlier this year for trying to infiltrate Louisiana Senator Mary Landreau's office in order to either tap, bug or just plain mess with her phones.

Move ahead to a couple of days ago and Breitbart publishes some video of Georgia's Director of Rural Development for the US Department of Agriculture Shirley Sherrod, a black woman, telling an NAACP audience that she didn't quite help a poor white farmer as well as she could have because of the color of his skin. This cause the right wing KLAN machine to freak out FOX news jumped all over it and started pushing against this woman for her "Reverse racism" White republicans hate reverse racism, it's so dangerous to their day to day lives and they feel this reverse racism so painfully day in and day out. So much so that many right wingers have branded the NAACP as "reverse racists" for pointing out the tea party for being what it is, a hot bed of white racists. Anyway, I digress. The right wing wanted this woman's scalp and so the Obama administration or at least the head of the USDA Tom Vilsack who canned her ass for her racism.

Problem. The case Sherrod was talking about happened 28 years ago. Bigger problem. The video was edited to exclude what she really said.

The video was edited to just show her talking about discriminating against the white farmer. The unedited version shows the woman saying how she first didn't want to help the white guy but than realized how wrong she was and that it wasn't a matter of race it was a matter of the haves vs the have not's in this country and how she went on to save the man's farm. In fact the farmer and Sherrod are still friends. Now the chorus is for her to get her job back and for all to apologize. The problem is, people like Breitbart and Limbaugh who obsess about race will continue to be treated as regular old "Conservative voices" instead of the ridiculous bigoted pricks they really are.

SEXIEST MUG SHOT EVER

Ya gotta admit, this is one beautiful criminal. Lindsey Lohan may be a coke addict and may drive drunk every day and might have terribly bad taste in women like gross lesbian ex-girlfriend, Samantha Ronson and might cut herself and might act like a stupid, spoiled, child and might be a thief and should probably be locked away for a lot longer than 12 days, but c'mon, there is no denying that she's smoking hot. I would love to try to tame this shrew. Daily drilling, nightly discipline, brainwashing, very tough love, corporal punishment, some more nightly discipline, positive reinforcement with my wiener and within twelve months I'd have her sitting next to me, quiet, respectful and refined like a smoking hot, lobotomized, shih Tzu that doesn't cram grams of coke in its shoe. I would love to reclaim this lost, very hot soul. For her own sake and the glory of God, not so I can take advantage and sexually molest a hot, fucked up, drug addicted actress. Thy will be done. I am just your humble servant God, Amen.


Bonus picture; Kim Kardashians mammoth asssssssssssssssssss.

SHORT SHORTS EVERYWHERE; THANK YOU HEAT WAVE

This revival of short shorts is so fucking awesome I can barely contain my joy. Every tramp from 18 to 30 is cramming their asses into little shorts and putting it on parade. Now if these asshole chicks would only free it up and whore themselves out to random strangers I'd really be happy.

I was a wee bit shot yesterday after having a couple of jerk friends over for some food and booze on Saturday. Had a great time enjoying the scorching heat wave while being told what an annoying, fat necked, irresponsible, asshole I am. It warms my heart to be so well thought of. I do believe it is well established in Mrs. manners guidebook that guests should try to achieve a two to one balance when addressing ones host. That means for every one compliment, female guests should try to offer up at least two insults to their male host. Kudos to my friends for having that down. Anyway, in between the love, I Drank quite a few beers and a couple of bottles of wine while cooking for my unappreciative friends in the blazing heat.

So yesterday with booze induced grogginess I didn't feel much like doing anything. I was sleepy and my vision was blurry so I just parked it on the couch for most of the day. Somewhere along the way my wife decided it was my job to go out and buy some more shit, so up I went to search for a certain Nerf gun for my son. I wasn't digging the task or the Nerf Gun wild goose chase I was sent on let alone the fact that the Nerf Gun quest eventually led me to my least favorite store in the world; Wal-mart. I was grumbling like a grumpy old prick while walking into the store until I noticed all the slut tramps buzzing about like whore moths clad only in tight, little, shorts with their ass cheeks hanging out. Now usually Wal-Mart is primarily filled with sloppy, fat, white chicks that only the brothers will fuck and electric, sit down, shopping carts being captained by the morbidly obese, but last evening, I hit the slut load. Girl after girl walked in or out or past me with the tiniest of tiny shorts. Some of them looked like sea hags but for the most part all was right and young and good. I was reborn. My grogginess lifted like a morning fog, I was alert, happy, chipper and ready to fuck some ho's. I didn't of course, but just wanting to made me feel better. I went home and had an Italian ice and thought about juicy asses in short shorts.

But then I got to thinking about why these girls wear these types of shorts out in public and I got mad again. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that these whores put their body parts on display like Amsterdam window hookers but the thought process that goes through their heads is troubling. It takes a certain type of passive aggressive douchelyness to hang your ass meat out to a sea of random men as a tease, forbidden fruit, here it is, but you can't have it kind of thing. Very dickish. The split personality, Madonna whore thing going on in girls brains is baffling. I'm going to wear skimpy shorts so all the men drool over my rump, wait, all the men are staring at my ass. Those dirty, dirty, perverts. Look, at my ass. Don't look. I'm a whore, I'm a good girl, I'm a whore, I'm a good girl. Enough! Just pick one and stick with it. Preferably, I'd like them all to choose the whore so they can blow me and Mel Gibson.

The real problem is that these girls put all this sexuality on display but in the end they're not really sexual at all. Not compared to men. We are carnal freaks. We've got testosterone which is a million times more potent than those weak ass girly hormones. All girl hormones do is make you piss off men, obsess about dumb shit and bleed on your white pants. Women like to talk a big game and read romance novels and drool over teenage vampires but please, men are a zillion times more worked up than the ladies are. Women can fool us though, they give up the sex fairly regularly at the beginning of a relationship to snag the man but then begin to ration it out like bits of chocolate on a deserted island. Build me shelter, I'll give you a piece of Hershey's. All that juicy ass I saw last night was more than likely drying up and going to waste, un-enjoyed by the husband or boyfriend they stopped fucking with any regularity a while ago. Why can't girls who dress like whores just be actual ravenous whores and save men the time of dealing with all the other crap we put up with just to get laid? I need an Italian ice.

RUMINATIONS ON POON

What's the focal point of this shot? Brooklyn Decker's beautiful face? Her open top? The steering wheel? Yes... to some degree, but the fact that she's opened up like a clam ready to get shucked is really what grabs a man's attention. We all know what she's doing. As soon as a straight man sees this, he wants to hop in there and sink his anchor deep in her cozy shoal. We can't help it, it's our job as human males. Drop the seed then find another fertile field, make sure your DNA lives on. I've been reading these posts on Andrew Sullivan's blog about monogamy and evolution and how they really don't work together and how monogamy is unnatural for every species. Duh. The whole concept of monogamy was invented to keep women and men feeling secure, certainly not happy. Monogamy keeps people from killing each other in constant poon hunting/defending wars. Look at the animal kingdom. Big male lion defends his bitches from lesser males until he's too weak then a young dude comes along kicks his ass, eats his kids, fucks his ladies and makes his own kids. If humans were constantly doing that shit the world would be in a completely chaotic maelstrom of poon hunting.

"I see your woman is ripe, I will mount her and replace your weak seed with some of my own. Stop me if you are strong enough!"

That would be bad for society so they made up some religious crap, made people feel obliged to pick each other, and each other alone and that was that unless you're an old school Mormon. Joseph Smith had the right idea about multiple ladies except their church makes you marry all your other ladies and c'mon, that's fucking crazy. Banging multiple women? Yes. Marrying more than one unhinged chick? Are you fucking crazy? Wait, Joseph Smith, church of later day saints, the Osmonds...yes, completely fucking crazy.

Men and women really should only spend time procreating or engaging in sexual acts, we pretty much have nothing in common. My wife and I get along really well but lets face it, she got her wedding, her ring, her house, she had the kids. She doesn't want to hear me talk about the yankees or WWII or Hot tub time machine for the next 40 years, what the fuck does she need me to be around for besides home improvements? She should find a big woman to hunker down with and watch House marathons on TNT with forever and I should go blast some kids up some other woman's hole and so on and so on and so on until I expire.

Now I like spending time with women in non sex formats but I'd rather just bang them and then go drinking with my buddies. I like plenty of women, they're nice and friendly and pretty and they laugh at my jokes but they'd much rather be talking about their periods and their feelings and tampons and kids and maxipads with their gal pals then bullshit with me. If I'm not getting a child out of their vaginas or at least some sexual release from their hands or mouths then really what's the fucking point? The less you have to deal with women outside of sex the better. I can't pretend I care about their cat scrapbook when they're throwing cleavage and camel toes around like frisbees. Bang em', knock em' up, make them make you a sandwich, go watch football with your male friends. That should be the extent of our time spent together. I love women but when it really comes down to it. All I really love is their vaginas.

Why did Neil Armstrong walk on the moon? Because he knew when he made it back to earth he would get countless scads of poon. It's pretty much why we do everything. Jobs, cars, clothes, climbing mount Everest, bungee jumping, what have you, we are driven by a primordial directive to bang quiff, all quiff, any quiff until our dicks or hearts stop working. I hear the calling, I'm gonna go git me sum.

SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN, I'VE BEEN PARTYING WITH MY BUDDY MEL

The world is falling into chaos! George Steinbrenner dead, the voice of God, longtime Yankees Public address announcer, Bob Shepherd, dead, Ted Velvet, not blogging regularly, Republicans getting batshit crazier, Mel Gibson outdoing all of them and ranting like I can only dream about.

This fucking guy is so filled with rage he should be dropped from a plane over Afghanistan and unleashed upon the Taliban. I've never heard a guy hate a woman as much as Mel hates the chick he left his wife for. O.J. had more regard for his ex-wife while in the midst of stabbing her head off. If you haven't yet listened to Mel spew bile at his slam piece,http://www.radaronline.com/ do give a listen. I know a lot of people are caught up in the racial shit he says but that is not important to me. Everyone uses racial epithets sometimes doesn't necessarily mean you're a racist. What I really like is the frequency in which he uses the words "cunt" and "whore". I can see why this woman hooked up with him, he's a hell of a catch. Maybe she really is just a whore. It's interesting to note as Mel's insanity is publicly revealed in more and more detail that South Park pegged the guy as a complete batshit loon about ten years ago. Good luck Mel, you might hate everyone under the sun but you are a pretty good director and a good actor. Shine on you crazy diamond.

YOU MEAN COITUS?

The Big Lebowski is now a porn parody. And it's actually called the Big Lebowski, not the really Big lebowski or The Big Lezballski or the Jizz Fuckholeski. It looks like it was made by fucking amateurs but that's porn. There is one funny line in the trailer when Donny says, "I'm knocking those pins over like they were cocks." I like the whole idea of a porn doing a parody of a movie that itself had a porn parody within it. The excellent fake porn called Logjammin' starring karl Hungus and Bunny La Joya. The trailer is pretty safe for work, no coitus, no Johnsons, just some dirty words. The porn abides

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED

Can't every asshole, celebrity/child molester just fucking die already without the idiots on this planet deifying them? Hope he's geting raped in hell.