IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

One of my major issues with Facebook is the rampant narcissism I see people display without any idea that they are narcissists. I recently read a study that said most narcissists realize that they are narcissists and also understand that their friends see them as such. Some people though just don't see it or if they do won't acknowledge it publicly. Now my take on narcissism is that pretty much everyone that leads a normal life and bathes and goes out in public dressed in clean clothes and cares about how other people view them is a narcissist to some degree. Everyone sees the world through their own lens and judges things on how they effect their own lives and therefore sees the world in a slightly narcissistic way. Then there are other people like myself who like to have a little more attention payed their way. On a narcissist scale of 1-10, I'd give myself a 7.5 where the average person is a 5 or 6. I like to be the center of attention sometimes and I might aggrandize myself a bit, sometimes just for laughs but I can listen to other people, I have empathy, I don't act in totally selfish ways all the time. In other words, I can be a self absorbed prick but I can be a normal person as well. One of my finer points is being somewhat honest about myself. I can brag or come off like a know-it-all douche but I generally acknowledge this is not the best way to be all the time so I see the points of my own narcissism and try to keep a lid on my most of my bullshit. Just like a junkie can recognize a fellow user or a gay dude instinctually knows who to blow in the gym shower, this self acknowledgement of my own weakness allows me to see it in others. Now let me explain how I can spot narcissists that probably don't think they are.

Facebook is in itself a tool for narcissists. You put your pictures and ideas out there and you wait for the people you know to give you positive feedback that coincides with what you already thought about yourself; that you're super cool, unbelievably interesting and awesome looking. Facebook is to narcissists what seminary school is to pedophiles. My ongoing belief about Facebook is that it reveals more about people then you might find out speaking with someone directly. It is an id exposition machine. There are many ways in which people reveal what they're thinking and different types of posters on Facebook.

The over proud new parent. The over proud new parent because of their narcissism thinks that they are the 1st people to give birth to a cute child. They constantly push the child out into the Facebook world to show how awesome their loins are and how vacant their lives actually are. If you think your kid is the only cute one to ever spring forth into the world and constantly need approval of how awesome the baby is, there's something missing in yourself. The thing that's missing is approval. This person is a narcissist that has found the heroin or crystal meth of narcissism. A baby. It is narcissism by proxy. They don't have to actually say or do anything and people release that yummy pellet directly into their mouths. Now as a dad I always liked when strangers would stop me and say my kids were cute. It's a nice compliment and it strangely would make me, who basically had nothing to do with how cute my kids are, feel good. But I don't press the issue with my boys and never did. My boys are their own people and their failures and successes will be their own. I am proud when they do well but I don't tell the whole fucking world. The facebook parents however use their children like Sarah Palin at a Downs syndrome jamboree. These people have found out that if their baby is cute enough, people will respond and heap praise on them, time and time and time again. It's a gumball machine of approval that never runs out of candy, well at least until the kid gets too big and someone else has a cuter baby. Having children is in itself an act of narcissism. If the kid was planned, then the two people that made it got together and said, We're both fucking awesome, let's add another awesome person just like us to the planet. it's kind of the pinnacle of narcissism.

The Horoscope poster. A horoscope poster is someone that has never realized that their daily horoscope is just a written, unpersonalized, generic version of someone blowing smoke up their asses. A narcissist loves to hear just what they want to hear and the horoscope feeds that need everyday no matter how full of shit it is. Not only does this type of Facebook narcissist read their horoscope everyday, but they post it on a website thinking that their friends will actually give a shit and read what it says. What kind of person reads a made up thing about how their day will go and then thinks it's interesting enough to other people that they allow it to be posted on their wall? A narcissist that's who.

The Daily schedule poster. "Going to the Gym" "making dinner for the husband." "Reading a book." These people think their daily life is so interesting to others that they should write down every mundane detail, ahhh but the devil is in the details and this is how you really find the narcissist within. Nothing cries narcissist more than the facebook post, "Going to the gym." It's a simple message, concise, seemingly harmless but it divulges more than the poster thinks it does. What "Going to the gym." really says is, "Be impressed with me. I work out, I stay in shape. I have energy. I am strong. I love who I am. I stare at myself in the mirror and lift weights. I wear tight, revealing, gym cloths. I am better than all of you people who are just sitting around doing nothing. My ass is tight and many people want to fuck me. Seriously be impressed with me, I am going to the gym, "

The posed, professional photo with devil may care smirk for a profile picture. This one is just for my sister. A raging narcissist on par with myself with nary a clue of her narcissism.

The self LOL-er and self liker I know too many people I actually like who do this but they must stop. They write something and post that they like it which is not only lame but redundant or worse this person laughs at their own shit jokes. Weak and narcissistic all in one felled swoop. Let me laugh at your comment. If it's funny, I'll hit the like button. Or post that it's funny. Don't tell me what's funny. If you have to tell me then it's not. Thinking your own shit is funny to the point of writing LOL after it to telegraph your weak shit is Narcissistic self protection for unfunny narcissists. They narcissists so they think everything they say is awesome thus the LOL but like all narcissists they think everyone else is stupid so they write LOL to tip off all the dummies to their genius. Either way it's fucking lame.

The Munchhausen by Facebook sucker poster This is probably the most annoying of the all the Facebook narcissists. The sucker poster does this, " I hate when people lie." or "One day I'll be appreciated." or " When will it get better?" These people leave you with something cryptic in order to sucker people in to express concern. These are concern whore narcissists. Like Munchhausen syndrome, they are people that for whatever reason would rather feel pity from their Facebook friends than any other emotion. For every person they sucker into showing concern their self worth goes up. They are manipulative, utterly self obsessed crybabies. This person needs some help. They are sad and want everyone to know. But the type of person that reveals their inner sadness on a social networking site is a narcissist champion. These people think almost entirely about themselves, give absolutely nothing back to the world but their own grief and pain. The over proud parents post beautiful baby pictures for all to enjoy, the self lol-er tells lame jokes, the gym rat, daily schedule poster, shows pictures of her tight ass at the beach, but these sad sack, Munchhausen sucker posters expect others to constantly nurse, cheer and console them. They are emotional vampires and seriously disturbed people. Thanks to Facebook I not only know I am not the only self obsessed douchebag in the world, I know I'm not the most annoying one either.