TRYING TO UNDERSTAND STUPIDITY IS A HOPELESS SPIRAL INTO THE VOID

So this past weekend was supposed to the made up end time philosophical jerk off known as the Rapture. As a construct, the Rapture has no basis in actual christian theology, it is like most modern day christian beliefs, complete bullshit sold by a con man to idiots looking to buy anything to jam into their little minds to make them feel better about this scary pointless world and their own utterly futile existence. So what's new, a lot of people believed that this past Saturday they were going to be assumed up into heaven leaving behind all of their earthly possessions and troubles to meet the big guy. Ok, that's an interesting little thing to believe in, which is fine. If you believed the story than no big deal, you thought you were gonna meet your maker but you didn't, no harm, no foul. The problem, and this is where the lack of any discernible ability to reason comes into play when you're talking about these sad christian people is this; many of these people gave up all of their money to their church with the belief that the rapture was coming. Now if the rapture was actually going to happen, than why would your church still need your money? Now this thought seemed to elude most of the adherents to this idiotic belief. Not only were they dumb enough to believe in the rapture but they were stupid enough to bet on it, but the bet made no sense being that they were laying down their bet to a house that theoretically wasn't going to be there in a couple of days.

Once you start going down that rabbit hole of thought there is no coming out. Anyone that isn't a complete idiot gets stupified making the mistake of giving these people any sort of logical thinking patterns. Faith is a kooky thing. Faith in God in particular is interesting. Can you have 50% faith or is it by it's definition, automatically understood that having faith means 100% all the way go for broke, blind faith. And if you can cut off the doubtful voices in your head, is blind faith some sort of gift or is it the complete opposite? Is having 100% faith the epitome of mental abdication? It was easy to have faith as a child because I just believed what i was told, I couldn't think critically, I had no doubts, my mind was in the off position. But I grew up and once I could think, on my own, could I really just go along with all the other dumb asses that seemed to question nothing? I used to wave the flag like a moron unquestioningly believing that the USA was the greatest thing ever invented by God or man, then I grew up and saw all of it's flaws and ugliness but, even with the blemishes I could still rationally say that America is definitely a pretty great fucking place. I still mock the flag wavers because I don't think they have ever doubted or questioned anything about their country, now it's no wonder that the people that wave the flag like children are the same people who have this unwavering belief that God exists. That must be a nice, Santa Claus world to live in. You're country is perfect and there's a nice magic man that watches us and gives us guardian angels to be buddies with and all that nice stuff and maybe they're right, maybe there's an all knowing, caring being in the sky that created us but I cannot be sure. Sue me I can't just dive into that faith pool head first. I cannot quantify God rationally and as far as I can tell, it hasn't made itself obviously known to me, so I cannot base my actions or decisions on the writings of a 4000 year old book or on a church teaching or on some group think and I will not join hands with people that can read the new testament and think Jesus would want them to let others starve or go sick or be mistreated while grasping a gun and screaming for tax breaks. Those people are not Christians, If those people are Christians then I hate Christians and I'm pretty sure if God does exist he would hate them too. If there was a rapture all of the real nice people in the world would go, maybe even some real Christians but I think most of the phony Christians this country shits out like a never ending, stinking, diarrhea wave of stupidity would find themselves stuffing their fat faces, watching Fox news and wondering what the fuck happened? Obviously I am not a good christian, I cast the first stone, I don't turn the cheek and I judge others. I might not have faith in God but I have faith that I'm right about these stupid assholes.

IF I'VE SAID IT ONCE, I'VE SAID IT A MILLION FUCKING TIMES, "NEVER, EVER, BOTTOM FEED!"

So this is what Arnold threw his marriage away for. This is what filled him with such desire that he had to have her. Not only did he have some over powering urge to fuck this chick, he also was dumb enough to not give her a flume ride between the tits or Rorschach on her back, he went exploding dumptruck and blew a load in her. Un-fucking-real. Did the sperminator never hear of jerking off? "I want to fuck my ugly housekeeper"...five minutes of porn and a soiled jam rag later, "I don't want to fuck my ugly housekeeper." It's that simple. Now this is gonna sound mean but Arnold should have been able to do much, much, better than her. This is the kind of woman that guys who can't bang anything else, fuck. She's strictly guy with nothing going on bait. Put it this way, I've got absolutely nothing going on and I could still get much better than her.

Arnold Schwarzenegger broke the first rule of fucking around. NEVER BOTTOM FEED!!!!

Time and time again these assholes get caught in the catfish pussy trap, Bill Clinton, Hugh Grant, Ex-mets GM and ESPN baseball analyst, Steve Phillips, Jesse James, I'm sure the list goes on and on because some horny men become stupid men and will take the convenience of fucking a skell. She's around, she's all impressed, she's easy...Boom, sex with hag. Marriage explodes, everyone knows you bang trash. Bad move. I keep repeating myself but these are the rules.

If you're gonna be a cheater, bang someone above your pay grade, to make it fun and memorable...impress yourself and day dream about your conquest and your mad skills for somehow managing to bag a hot chick.

Make shit sure she's got as much or more to lose if it were to ever be revealed.

Do it out of town, don't shit where you eat.

use a fake name, no phone # nothing real at all.

Don't cheat, Just jerk off and save yourself the trouble of having your life implode.

HOLY FUCK, CHELSEA HANDLER'S UNFUNNY SITCOM IS WORSE THAN THE CRABS SHE SHOOTS OUT HER ROTTEN COOTCH

If she had just stuck to fucking dudes on tape I'd like her a whole lot better but instead she thought she was funny and there were enough stupid gay dudes and retarded cunts to enable her into an actual career being a so-called comedian. You have to watch this steaming pile of shit to truly appreciate how hackneyed and lame this asshole's garbage is. Not only is it stupid and telegraphed, awful, comedy but she's got the fucking Scientologist idiot from that 70's show playing her while she plays her own born again sister. You know it's a quality show when you have longtime male pornstar Hershal Savage playing a prison guard or cop or something. Love the canned laughter, lets me know when something was supposed to be a joke, oh wait, I get it, the whole show's a joke.

TED KNOWS BULLSHIT WHEN HE SMELLS IT

I went on a slight rant last week about all the Bush war criminals coming out of the woodwork to take credit for his death and in playing up the role their use of torture had in finding Osama bin Laden. In the comments section, anonymous pointed me to Wall Street Journal op ed written by lousy ex-Bush attorney general, and criminal enabler and accessory, Michael Mukasey. Mukasey wrote a bunch of lies about how much information we got from Khalid Sheihk Muhammad after we waterboarded him 183 times. Now anyone with a working brain and the ability to read who isn't a torture apologist, knew that everything Mukasey wrote was steaming pile of bullshit. But who is calling this out more than anyone? Our old, angry, pale as a ghost, ex-torture victim and 2008 GOP presidential nominee, John McCain. Now McCain might have sold his soul a hundred times over to get the GOP nomination and to hold onto his senate seat and was reckless beyond belief when he chose Sarah Palin as his running mate but the guy knows torture and is probably the only topic that you can still trust him on.

I have sought further information from the staff of the Senate Intelligence Committee, and they confirm for me that, in fact, the best intelligence gained from a CIA detainee — information describing Abu Ahmed al-Kuwaiti’s real role in Al-Qaeda and his true relationship to Osama bin Laden — was obtained through standard, non-coercive means, not through any ‘enhanced interrogation technique.’

In short, it was not torture or cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment of detainees that got us the major leads that ultimately enabled our intelligence community to find Osama bin Laden. I hope former Attorney General Mukasey will correct his misstatement. It’s important that he do so because we are again engaged in this important debate, with much at stake for America’s security and reputation. Each side should make its own case, but do so without making up its own facts.

So fuck you, I was right...as usual.

JON STEWART DESTROYS FOX NEWS ANTI- RAPPER BULLSHIT

One day the pieces of shit that run this joke of a right wing, racist, propaganda machine will be dead and maybe, just maybe, this country can get back to the work of dealing with reality instead of searching for birth certificates, defending torture and the obviously racist, white lady crying rape in the Jim Crowe south, attacks about which scary black guy the Obama's have invited to the white house. Until then, thank God that The Daily Show and Colbert are around to show what complete idiots the jerkoffs at fox news are. It's fucking embarrassing how easy it is to skewer the dipshits on Fox. If these talking retards that call themselves journalists had any sense of the truth or any shame in being lying hacks they would all just kill themselves and make this world a much, much, better place. Seriously, Sean Hannity cannot die an awful enough death for me. Falling into a woodchipper feet first, languishing days, crushed under the weight of a building, being captured by the Taliban and repeatedly raped and fisted by Mullah Omar and a camel until his ass shits out his insides, something like that would be nice. He is truly a repugnant piece of shit.

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

IT'S LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, DON'T PISS OFF CROWS

I've been noticing a drastic uptick n the amount of crows living near my house. You can't miss them, they're big, they're black and they're loud as fuck. Luckily for me, a month or so ago I read an article on Cracked .com about how smart Crows are and how vengeful they are as well. Let's put it this way, if the vengeance of the Mafia is a 9, then Crows are a Caw! 10 Caw! These guys don't like getting fucked with and worse than that, they never forget a face. A study done by some bird nerds captured and released some crows. While the crows were in captivity, their captors all wore the same exact rubber face mask. After the Crows were released the bird scientists would walk around campus wearing the masks. Everytime the masks came out, the crows would mob, attack and generally try to fuck up whoever was wearing the mask. The interesting thing the scientists found out was that many of the birds attacking were never caught by the scientists. Some of the crows would stage single attacks on the mask wearers which let the scientists know that somehow the crows had communicated the facial features of who they wanted attacked but also the fact that they wanted the mask wearing douchebag dead. Another weird aspect to this story is that the crows passed on this vendetta against the mask wearers across generations. Younger crows just barely able to fly also launched solo attacks on the mask wearing masochists. What scientists have also found out about Crows and the language they use is that it warns other crows away from danger in perpetuity. Farmers who shoot a single crow in their fields often find that just the death of one Crow is enough to warn off every other crow that ever thought of landing in the same cornfield. Somehow with all that caw caw-ing, they spread the word that a particular field is to be avoided. Crows are also the only animal outside of the great apes that make and use their own tools. They bend wire and other items to use as hooks to retrieve items out of the reach of their beaks. This makes those asshole dolphins with their flips and squeeks, getting themselves caught in nets, look like fucking idiots. Now when I go outside and the crows are squawking away, I give them a tip of the hat and a wide birth. They are some badass birds and I for one don't want to get chased by every fucking crow in the universe for the rest of my life.
http://www.cracked.com/article_19042_6-terrifying-ways-crows-are-way-smarter-than-you-think.html

AS PROMISED: MORE JAPANESE GIRLS WITH BIG TITS

I'm a simple man, I like my beer cold, my pasta Al Dente, my Yankees to always win and my Japanese models to have giant breasts. There's just something extra special about a buxom asian woman. It's not the norm, they're usually kind of petite and well proportioned so the Japanese gals with the big titties really make my day. I love these ladies. They're special. Wax on, wax off, me so horny, ancient Chinese secret huh No ticky no shirty, Godzilla!

GEORGE BUSH MOCKS ADHERENTS OF LINEAR TIME

The torture apologists and un-American, ends justifies the means, scumbags are out in full force taking credit for shit they simply didn't do. All the Sunday talk shows were chock full of Bush clones yelling hooray for torture and boo for Obama for following the rule of law. The values of America used to mean something to Republicans but now they are just ideas to be mocked by right wing assholes. Ex- Bush chief of staff Andy Card, the genius who set up Bush's awesome "Mission Acomplished" Flightsuit debacle, said Obama is pounding his chest too much and Glenn Beck said Obama's visit to ground zero was Vulgar. Sore fucking losers. All the bullshit these awful people made up about the President went away with one well planned and executed raid. His un-American-ness and dithering, professorial, kowtowing to Islam, elitist tag went bye bye in the pull of a trigger. Obama not only went into Pakistan and had Bin Laden killed but he told everybody that he would do exactly that 3 years ago. Republicans hate it when you're not only competent but when you follow through on your promises.

Now the Bushies are all saying that it was the intelligence apparatus that they set in place that lead to Bin laden being caught and this has validity. It's not like the CIA and NSA just started hunting terrorists the day Obama became president but what the ex-Bushies fail to tell you is that when you have a president who doesn't have his secretary of defense and vice president down at CIA headquarters everyday, wasting time, pressuring analysts to make up evidence in order to attack Iraq, a lot of good things can happen. BTW, you know what else Bushes torture got the United States? A reputation for abuse which now leads our non-torturing allies to refuse to hand over terrorists that they capture for fear we will break international law. Instead of our intelligence services getting a chance to interrogate suspected jihadists, our allies keep them or in worse case scenarios, simply let them go. "...The Ontario Court of Appeal has upheld a decision to halt extradition proceedings for an alleged Al-Qaeda arms supplier, citing the extent of US human rights abuses tied to his capture in Pakistan. A 3-0 ruling by the court ruled that a Toronto judge was justified in releasing Abdullah Khadr, the older brother of the Guantanamo Bay prison camp's youngest detainee Omar Khadr. Both are Canadian. Khadr's lawyer Dennis Edney hailed what he called a "victory for the rule of law." "Evidence should be (obtained while respecting) human rights, and it was not," he told AFP...." Well done Republicans.

A PARTY OF LYING SCUMBAGS

The big lie being put out right now by ex-government officials that should be in jail for war crimes and their lying, right wing scumbag enablers at Fox news and elsewhere, is that torture is what led to Osama Bin Laden being killed. Cheney, Rumsfeld and all of the Bush apologists have gone on the record to take credit for killing Bin Laden because of the fact that they tortured people 8 years ago. Eight fucking years ago. On it's face, it is ridiculous to say that any intelligence given under torture in 2003 led to Bin Laden's death in 2011. If torture had achieved anything Bin laden would have been a corpse a long time ago. But he wasn't because it didn't. Another stupid fucking lie put out there by the evil bastards that once ran this country and nearly destroyed everything it once stood for. What a shameful episode in American history. We were hijacked by right wing thugs while the so-called constitution loving, future tea bagging hypocrites cheered them on.

Why does anyone allow these incompetent, lying, criminals to get away with such bullshit? Why aren't Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld in fucking jail or at least so reviled that anything they say is dismissed out of hand? Think about this, Bush and Cheney are responsible for the worst foreign attack on American soil since the war of 1812. Don't try to pin it on Clinton. The attack happened on their watch. They were not interested in Bin Laden or Al Qaeda. They ignored all the warnings. They did absolutely nothing, NOTHING to prevent the attacks. On their watch it happened, they allowed it, they didn't stop it, they are to blame. Three thousand dead Americans on their watch. End of story. They then destroy the constitution, spy on people, torture people, arrest, imprison and deport people without trials. They then go on to attack Iraq and additionally get more than 4000 American soldiers killed. They destroy the economy with two unpaid wars, tax cuts for the wealthy and no oversight over the banks and insurance companies. Why would anyone listen to their bullshit? What's worse is the people in this country that then after all of these epic fuck ups, lost jobs, lost houses and nearly 9 thousand dead Americans, they go on to attack Obama for being a socialist and a foreigner and un-American. Bush and Cheney dismantle the constitution, commit war crimes and invade a country on false evidence but the idiots in this country that call themselves, "Christians" and "conservatives" go on to compare Obama to Hitler. It makes absolutely no sense. The only explanation for the way republicans and conservatives behave is this, they are both really fucking stupid and really fucking evil. They are both of these things, all of them. Stupid and fucking evil. Republicans like to say they are the party of personal responsibility but they take responsibility for nothing. Nothing is ever their fault. 9/11? Nope. Bill Clinton. Iraq war? Nope. Bad intelligence. Collapsed economy? Nope. Barney Frank. Climate change? Nope. Doesn't exist. These false Christians and habitual liars had better hope that there is no hell because anyone who votes for these people or defends them or believes in their ends justifies the means mentality is surely damned. Anyone who defends more tax cuts for the rich while families grow poorer and poorer will go to hell. I hope there is a reckoning. I hope there is a rapture. I guarantee you, if you have a GOP bumper sticker on your car or if you voted for Bush and Cheney and still defend them. You will be the one's left behind to live in misery through the conflagration while the tree hugging, anti-war, anti-torture, pro-choice hippies will vanish littering leftists cities with hybrid cars and footless Birkenstocks as they speed their peace loving, truth telling asses directly to heaven.

IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

One of my major issues with Facebook is the rampant narcissism I see people display without any idea that they are narcissists. I recently read a study that said most narcissists realize that they are narcissists and also understand that their friends see them as such. Some people though just don't see it or if they do won't acknowledge it publicly. Now my take on narcissism is that pretty much everyone that leads a normal life and bathes and goes out in public dressed in clean clothes and cares about how other people view them is a narcissist to some degree. Everyone sees the world through their own lens and judges things on how they effect their own lives and therefore sees the world in a slightly narcissistic way. Then there are other people like myself who like to have a little more attention payed their way. On a narcissist scale of 1-10, I'd give myself a 7.5 where the average person is a 5 or 6. I like to be the center of attention sometimes and I might aggrandize myself a bit, sometimes just for laughs but I can listen to other people, I have empathy, I don't act in totally selfish ways all the time. In other words, I can be a self absorbed prick but I can be a normal person as well. One of my finer points is being somewhat honest about myself. I can brag or come off like a know-it-all douche but I generally acknowledge this is not the best way to be all the time so I see the points of my own narcissism and try to keep a lid on my most of my bullshit. Just like a junkie can recognize a fellow user or a gay dude instinctually knows who to blow in the gym shower, this self acknowledgement of my own weakness allows me to see it in others. Now let me explain how I can spot narcissists that probably don't think they are.

Facebook is in itself a tool for narcissists. You put your pictures and ideas out there and you wait for the people you know to give you positive feedback that coincides with what you already thought about yourself; that you're super cool, unbelievably interesting and awesome looking. Facebook is to narcissists what seminary school is to pedophiles. My ongoing belief about Facebook is that it reveals more about people then you might find out speaking with someone directly. It is an id exposition machine. There are many ways in which people reveal what they're thinking and different types of posters on Facebook.

The over proud new parent. The over proud new parent because of their narcissism thinks that they are the 1st people to give birth to a cute child. They constantly push the child out into the Facebook world to show how awesome their loins are and how vacant their lives actually are. If you think your kid is the only cute one to ever spring forth into the world and constantly need approval of how awesome the baby is, there's something missing in yourself. The thing that's missing is approval. This person is a narcissist that has found the heroin or crystal meth of narcissism. A baby. It is narcissism by proxy. They don't have to actually say or do anything and people release that yummy pellet directly into their mouths. Now as a dad I always liked when strangers would stop me and say my kids were cute. It's a nice compliment and it strangely would make me, who basically had nothing to do with how cute my kids are, feel good. But I don't press the issue with my boys and never did. My boys are their own people and their failures and successes will be their own. I am proud when they do well but I don't tell the whole fucking world. The facebook parents however use their children like Sarah Palin at a Downs syndrome jamboree. These people have found out that if their baby is cute enough, people will respond and heap praise on them, time and time and time again. It's a gumball machine of approval that never runs out of candy, well at least until the kid gets too big and someone else has a cuter baby. Having children is in itself an act of narcissism. If the kid was planned, then the two people that made it got together and said, We're both fucking awesome, let's add another awesome person just like us to the planet. it's kind of the pinnacle of narcissism.

The Horoscope poster. A horoscope poster is someone that has never realized that their daily horoscope is just a written, unpersonalized, generic version of someone blowing smoke up their asses. A narcissist loves to hear just what they want to hear and the horoscope feeds that need everyday no matter how full of shit it is. Not only does this type of Facebook narcissist read their horoscope everyday, but they post it on a website thinking that their friends will actually give a shit and read what it says. What kind of person reads a made up thing about how their day will go and then thinks it's interesting enough to other people that they allow it to be posted on their wall? A narcissist that's who.

The Daily schedule poster. "Going to the Gym" "making dinner for the husband." "Reading a book." These people think their daily life is so interesting to others that they should write down every mundane detail, ahhh but the devil is in the details and this is how you really find the narcissist within. Nothing cries narcissist more than the facebook post, "Going to the gym." It's a simple message, concise, seemingly harmless but it divulges more than the poster thinks it does. What "Going to the gym." really says is, "Be impressed with me. I work out, I stay in shape. I have energy. I am strong. I love who I am. I stare at myself in the mirror and lift weights. I wear tight, revealing, gym cloths. I am better than all of you people who are just sitting around doing nothing. My ass is tight and many people want to fuck me. Seriously be impressed with me, I am going to the gym, "

The posed, professional photo with devil may care smirk for a profile picture. This one is just for my sister. A raging narcissist on par with myself with nary a clue of her narcissism.

The self LOL-er and self liker I know too many people I actually like who do this but they must stop. They write something and post that they like it which is not only lame but redundant or worse this person laughs at their own shit jokes. Weak and narcissistic all in one felled swoop. Let me laugh at your comment. If it's funny, I'll hit the like button. Or post that it's funny. Don't tell me what's funny. If you have to tell me then it's not. Thinking your own shit is funny to the point of writing LOL after it to telegraph your weak shit is Narcissistic self protection for unfunny narcissists. They narcissists so they think everything they say is awesome thus the LOL but like all narcissists they think everyone else is stupid so they write LOL to tip off all the dummies to their genius. Either way it's fucking lame.

The Munchhausen by Facebook sucker poster This is probably the most annoying of the all the Facebook narcissists. The sucker poster does this, " I hate when people lie." or "One day I'll be appreciated." or " When will it get better?" These people leave you with something cryptic in order to sucker people in to express concern. These are concern whore narcissists. Like Munchhausen syndrome, they are people that for whatever reason would rather feel pity from their Facebook friends than any other emotion. For every person they sucker into showing concern their self worth goes up. They are manipulative, utterly self obsessed crybabies. This person needs some help. They are sad and want everyone to know. But the type of person that reveals their inner sadness on a social networking site is a narcissist champion. These people think almost entirely about themselves, give absolutely nothing back to the world but their own grief and pain. The over proud parents post beautiful baby pictures for all to enjoy, the self lol-er tells lame jokes, the gym rat, daily schedule poster, shows pictures of her tight ass at the beach, but these sad sack, Munchhausen sucker posters expect others to constantly nurse, cheer and console them. They are emotional vampires and seriously disturbed people. Thanks to Facebook I not only know I am not the only self obsessed douchebag in the world, I know I'm not the most annoying one either.

WE WILL ALL SEE BIN LADEN'S JACK O' LANTERN HEAD EVENTUALLY

I know there's a lot of people crying out there to see Bin Laden's head hollowed out like an apple bong but I can wait. Right now I think the smart move is to not release the photos. The news is fresh as are the wounds and crybaby emotions of his bitch followers. Let those camel fucking pussies calm down a little, get used to their gay master being dead and then when they least expect it...BOOM! Bin Laden's bowling ball brain hole headshot for all to see. I guarantee that a picture of this dead motherfucker will be released sooner or later. There will continue to be an outcry, the assholes will keep bitching about the photo and a conspiracy and Bin Laden not being dead and all that other crap and then Obama will act like he tried to prevent this from happening , but if everyone must see it, then so be it. He will, in order to put the nonsense to rest, release of the photos thus keeping fresh in everyone's mind that it was he, Barak Obama who brought Bin Laden to justice while retaining the appearance of being above the fray and not"spiking the ball" or taking a victory lap. He will keep this awesome deed in the news cycle longer which is good for him politically and make it seem like he is above it all at the same time. So sooner or later the pictures will come out. They will be released at the behest of the Prez officially or by some anonymous leaker who is in no way associated with the Prez...wink, wink.

HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW MUTHAFUCKAS?

This country doesn't deserve this President. This country is a global embarrassment. In no other country would you take a guy like Obama and try to destroy him and heap such derision upon the person he is. Every time I talk to someone who bad mouths him I literally pick a fight with them. I tell them the exact truth, I say "You're too fucking stupid, and too fucking racist to know anything." I say this because 95% of the bad stuff people say about him is just flat out right wing, Fox news bullshit and outright lies. The complaints about Obama are never based on fact, they never say, he should have thrown the bankers and wall street fucks in jail, they always spout the dumbest shit imaginable. He's a socialist, he's a muslim, he hates this country, he wants to give all our money to poor blacks, he raised my taxes. All utter bullshit. Now obviously I haven't liked everything the man has done but I would never heap scorn upon his wife, his color, his backround, his education, his birth, the way the fucking idiot dunces in this country have.

Obama is the adult in Washington, he's smart as fuck and cold and calculating in his pragmatism. He'll take the deal instead of the all out win. It's hard on me and people like myself who want to see him kick the right wing rodeo clowns Boehner, Cantor, Bachmann and McConnell out of his fucking oval office with big shoe prints on their stupid asses. But he's too smart for that. He let's assholes cut their own throats time and time again. He let's all the republican morons have all the time they want to fuck themselves. Keep talking Palin, keep being crazy Bachmann, Release a budget? No, you go first Rep. Ryan. Whoa, Really Congressman Ryan? dismantle Meidcare and kill old people? That's pretty crazy. Now here's my budget where old people get to live. He sees the playing field 10 steps ahead of everyone else and puts up with unbelievable amounts of stupidity and disrespect along the way until blam! He pops up with a little something called Bin Laden carpaccio . Oh, I'm not american enough? I won't defend this country? I dither? Here's Osama bitches, now eat my steaming pile of shit.

Who else could have carved up a raging douchebag like Donald Trump with a smile on Saturday and delivered Osama on a slab on Sunday? I know a lot of stupid assholes who now will have a grudging respect for the guy. Get the gas prices down and some more jobs and some of the idiots might even like him, but for right now, a grudging respect from dipshits will have to do.

THE PHOENIX HAS RISEN

From my own ashes I arise. In a blistering cataclysm I spread my fiery wings to soar, to reach new heights and take a giant shit on people's heads. I, like Obama, have found a new groove. I'm feeling funkadelic. I'm back to kick ass and take names and be throughly unlikable. I will post the profane and the profound. I will be prescient and prodigious. I will post giant Japanese titty pictures, I will discuss my favorite pieces of ass. I will publicly lust after big, giant, breasts and luscious, round, asses. I am a man, and I will not apologize for the shit I like. I will obsess about my hatred for Sarah Palin, I will continue to be narcissistic and refer to myself in a grandiose fashion and in the 3rd person. I will continue to call out conservatives and republicans for what they are, cheap ignorant, uneducated, over religious, hypocritical, racists. I will brag about my drinking like a 15 year old. I will tell tales about milfs I know that want to fuck me. I will expunge the angst and searing hatred I have for all things stupid. I will rock the nuts off these internets. I will be diligent about posting more than once everyday, even if it's just a link to something else I will be a hard worker and make people love me again. I will be the master of the factor the king of of thie blogging world. I am the velvet glove over the iron fist that goes up the ass of America. I am back.